The Benores in Texas

January 30 Benore.com celebrated its 10th anniversary. Today we look back at the history of Benore.com and the journey of Kevin & Shantell in this brief timeline.

Sunday, January 30, 2000
Benore.com was registered. Kevin & Shantell were not yet dating, nor had they met.

Thursday, July 19, 2001
The Benore.com website launches as a photo and announcement website to celebrate the impending nuptials of Kevin Benore & Shantell Berrett.

Saturday, November 17, 2001
Although Benore.com was silent on this day, it was a big day for Kevin & Shantell. They united in holy matrimony.

Sunday, December 9, 2001
Soon after their wedding and honeymoon this site was transformed into “The Benore Family on the Web”. It had posted on it pictures of Kevin & Shantell’s life together.

Thursday, September 26, 2002
Once again the site is transformed to a simplified “Benore.com” name that gives information about Kevin’s call to the ministry, their planned move to Fort Worth, and of course more pictures.

Friday, May 30, 2003
The site’s name remains the same, but the look and mission had changed. Now Kevin was in his first year at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, the site was designed to communicate to friends and family back home how his progress in school. It also was meant to continue conveying Kevin & Shantell’s life now in Texas.

Saturday, January 29, 2004
Our first BLOG entry! Because of this entry I have been blogging for 6 years! Through the power of Blogger (now owned by Google) we were able to start our first blog entry and feed it to Benore.com. The first blog entry was about our seminary friends (and their blog), Matt & Susan Millsap.

Thursday, February 5, 2004
The site’s name was changed (short lived) to “The Chronicles of Benoria”.

Sunday, April 4, 2004
The site’s name was changed again, to “Benore Speaks …”.

Sunday, November 28, 2004
The site was redesigned with a “Flash”-y header.

Monday, February 20, 2006
The “Benore’s in Texas” blog was official launched! Although the design and even the blogging engine has changed a few times since, the blog has remained this name ever since!

Saturday, January 30, 2010
10 Years of Benore.com! And we aren’t going anywhere! We have this domain registered for the next 6 years. So what’s next? Well, Benore.com will always be a place to discuss what’s going on with the Benore’s in Texas. Sometimes it’s been a place for commentary and discussion, but mostly we discuss our life.

Coming Soon!
Soon Kevin will launch another site with a new mission. That site will be an opinion site centered around everything Kevin loves. This includes technology, entertainment, politics, business, and religion. Not only will Kevin opine on these topics, he will answer questions about these topics (or any other) submitted by his readers.

As many of you know, Shantell and I going to be entering into foster care in the next few months. The state of Texas requires us to have much of the material items purchased before we can bring a child into our home. For this reason we have started a baby registry. Most of our items are registered through Amazon.com’s Baby Registry. We chose Amazon.com for several reasons.

1. They are often cheaper if not the same price as Target or Babies R Us.
2. They offer free shipping – easy for all of our family that lives in other towns.
3. They have a lot of choices!

So, if you are interested in helping us with the items we need for this new chapter in our lives feel free to purchase some baby stuff by clicking here.

UPDATED: Found a few spelling mistakes. Probably more. But the ones I found are fixed. 12/19/09 @ 10:22PM

Today I learned about the passing of Mr. Harold Bradley of West Palm Beach, Florida. Most of my readers have no idea who HB was, but some of you will morn his loss just as much as I do. For the former group, let me briefly tell you about HB. HB was choir director at Forest Hill High School (now Forest Hill Community High School). But he was much, much more than your run of the mill choir director. Think Mr. Holland’s Opus but replace the band with a choir and replace Mr. Holland with Mr. Bradley. He also preferred to be called HB especially if you were a member of one of his choirs. I used HB and Mr. Bradely interchangeably but both evoke emotions of happy memories. Don’t get me wrong, HB could be a tough hombre – but he was dealing with a bunch of immature teenagers. He let us play hard, but demanded we work even harder.

Because of HB I developed a love for the arts that I never new existed. I joined the choir mid-year my sophomore year. I had always been a drama geek, but after singing Christmas carols in drama class in December of 1991 a member of Dimension 20 suggested I “go out for choir”. I had raw, unsophisticated, and completely untrained talent – but I could carry a tune. I tried out for a choir called “New Dimensions” and got in. There were several choirs at FHHS. New Dimensions was kind of like a minor league feeder choir. If you showed you had chops, you could maybe make it into the big leagues. For guys, there was only one big league team – Dimension 20. Women could audition for Les Femmes (did I spell that right?) or Dimension 20. Les Femmes was an all girl show choir with lots of talent. But Dimension 20 (D20) was the elite mixed choir. My junior year (1992-1993) I joined D20.

HB always showed love and tried to develop the talents of everyone in his class. He knew I was a goofy kid who would probably never have the confidence to sing a solo but he also knew I had a love for drama and music. He nurtured that. When we (and I mean the entire guys section) would get out of line he would quip at us with one liners. If we were slouching he might says, “Sit up, you look like an emaciated doughnut.” If we were being disrespectful he often would say, “There is a bus coming at 3:30, I want you to be under it.” If the entire group (usually the guys) were goofing off … he might throw a chair in our direction. The chair never landed on any of us but was close enough to get our attention. If we were late we were lectured with “15 minutes early is on-time”. That lesson I have yet to learn. I remember one day Chris Cassidy and I were coming from his house to a night time rehearsal. Chris was speeding because HB hated tardiness and got a ticket. That explanation didn’t phase HB. We were still expected to be on-time.

I had come from a middle class family that was almost living at poverty level because of the construction bubble in the early 1990s. Yet, HB and my friends in D20 did not care about how much money I had. I went to New York City with D20 my senior year. HB and the parents arranged for me to see 4 Broadway shows. Most of the parents were going to see 4 shows, but us kids only were going to see 2 plus the NY Philharmonic. But because of my passion for all things Broadway, HB made sure I got to go with the parents. Of course, I would be remiss in bringing the entire trip and not bring up the generosity of the Cassidy family. With that I would never been able to afford to go to NYC.

HB was tough, but loved music and loved students. There was a sign in the choir room that said “God is love. Love is Dimension 20.” That sign embodied HB’s philosophy. He truly loved everyone in his charge. That sign would not make it most schools today, but HB thought the political correctness that was sweeping public schools at the time was hogwash (I am sure he used different terms).

He taught me to take personal responsibility for my actions. He taught me to love music and the arts. He taught me there was a time to play and a time to work hard. He taught me that there is a great diversity of people and opinions, and while its important to hold on to your convictions, it is equally important to respect those you do not agree with. These are things I have brought with me well past high school. It’s hard to measure or understand the impact of HB unless you’ve met the man and been in his class. The 100s of performances. The lessons learned. The little things that happen in everyday life that bring you back to those days that only a few other people on this planet share. All because of one good man, with a big heart. Goodbye HB, Harold, Mr. Bradely. Goodbye teacher, mentor, friend. Cheers!

I end this post with a poem by Walt Whitman. Never has this poem meant more.

O Captain my Captain! our fearful trip is done,
The ship has weathered every rack, the prize we sought is won,
The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting,
While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring;
But O heart! heart! heart!
O the bleeding drops of red,
Where on the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.

O Captain! my Captain! rise up and hear the bells;
Rise up–for you the flag is flung for you the bugle trills,
For you bouquets and ribboned wreaths for you the shores a-crowding,
For you they call, the swaying mass, their eager faces turning;
Here Captain! dear father!
This arm beneath your head!
It is some dream that on the deck,
You’ve fallen cold and dead.

My Captain does not answer, his lips are pale and still;
My father does not feel my arm, he has no pulse nor will;
The ship is anchored safe and sound, its voyage closed and done;
From fearful trip the victor ship comes in with object won;
Exult O shores, and ring O bells!
But I, with mournful tread,
Walk the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.

I don’t normally talk about my disability except when soliciting prayer requests or seeking medical advice/care. Although an extrovert, I am also a pretty private person. But today I am laid up because of my condition – so I had time on my hands to write this article about. I am not looking to complain or get sympathy … just educating those who are interested. First, let me talk about today. Then you can read on if wish to understand more about my type of pain.

What’s Happening Today
Today I woke up from bed at 5:15am. Because the time changed last night, my body assumed it was 6:15am. A few minutes after I rose, I was back in bed because of the pain. When I tell people about my “tailbone” pain they often wrongly assume my pain is localized to that area. They believe I have problems sitting but I am able to do anything else. My pain does not stay in one area. Like many people with some kind of back or spinal injury, I have some areas of my back that are referred pain areas. That simply means I have pain in areas that are different than the source area. Today, my pain level was a 10 out 10 for about 2-3 hours. My pain seemed to come from the latissimus dorsi muscle area. No idea why my pain was as severe as it was, but it was defiantly more severe than normal. The pain has been reduced but I am still having mobility issues. Hopefully it will get better as the day goes on.

Some History
In March 2004 sitting in a class at my school I started getting pain in my tailbone. The pain was mild and annoying, but seemed to come from nowhere. I thought this was a temporary issue that would eventually go away on its own. After a few months of continual discomfort, I decided to go to our family doctor. The doctor sent my to get films done with a MRI. That initial MRI shows a possible old fracture of the coccyx. The coccyx is a bone at the tip of the spine, often referred to as a tailbone. The MRI indicated that this bone may have broke a long time ago and re-healed and fused backwards. This type of injury is common in women who give birth but rare in men. I have broke quite a few bones in my youth – apparently I broke this one and did not realize it.

A year later my family doctor moved to Maine. He then referred me to another physician in his practice. From 2005 until now, Dr. Damon Schranz has been my advocate for treating this condition. During the past 5 years we have pursed many different treatment options. So many I have honestly lost count. I think I have seen 4 orthopedic doctors or surgeons, 3 pain management physicians, 3 chiropractors, and even 1 manipulative medicine doctor. During this time period I have had 2 MRIs and CT scan and have undergone surgery about 8 times. Most of these were some sort of nerve block or injection.

And Now
After 5 years of seeking treatment to cure or remove the pain, the best course of treatment at this point for the long term is pharmacological. On most days the pain is reduced greatly. However this treatment is not perfect, so some days are better than others. I hope one day research will find better methods for dealing with chronic pain, but for now it is manageable. Without proper medication, I would likely be unable to move around, go to work, or have a life. Unfortunately, my life is far from normal. I can no longer do many of the things I use to take for granted. Believe it or not, very little motions like bending, lifting small items, or even sitting in an uncomfortable chair can cause setbacks. However, many people living with this type of pain can still be productive members of society.

Final Thoughts
I used to have an image of what people with what is broadly called “back pain” could or couldn’t do. And there is certainly a difference between people who have occasional back pain and those of us that have a chronic disability. There is a lack of understanding and empathy of those who have any disability. People often who don’t understand have never had long term pain. These people take a harsher stance than is appropriate. We should all take a step back and thank God our health is better than others. As bad as my condition is, I have seen worse. I thank God for giving me doctors and treatments available to allow me to function. I hope this helps you understand my issue and maybe understand others with chronic pain.

On August 24, 2007 the company I work for had a fire. The entire front offices were destroyed but the concrete building was structurally intact. Yesterday, August 24, 2009 we started the move back into our newly build-out of the same facility. Most everyone will be back up front by weeks end. The building is nice and an “upgrade” from construction trailers and temporary housing. Pictures will be coming soon.

Just a quick update. Week 3 update: down 8.6 pounds. Well on my way to lose 25 in 12 weeks.

One year ago tomorrow on May 1, 2008, I decided I had been unhealthy long enough. I had reached an obscene 350 lbs. By most standards this is considered morbidly obese. After about six months, I lost 50 lbs. That put me into holiday time, so my goals changed from loss to maintenance. So from then to now I have stayed with 5 lbs of my new weight.

Recently (April 22, 2009) my church launched the Weigh Down Challenge through our wellness center. This 12 week challenge prompted me to shift away from maintenance back to weight loss. My goal for this challenge is a modest 25 lbs (or about 2 lbs a week). So with a lot of work I should be down to 277 by mid July.

In the past I did not share my actual weight but I did share by goals. After a year off loss, I feel comfortable that that 50 lbs is gone forever. My secret? Low carb, high protein. I have found that generally speaking men can do well with low carb diets while women do better with low calorie diets.

I have two weights I am tracking. My “real” weight, which I get first thing in the morning before I dress. And my “gym/doctor” weight which is taken after a full day with all my clothes on. Typically there is up to a 10 lbs difference. For the purposes of the blog, I will be sharing the “real” weight -frankly because it is what I weigh not what my clothes and I weigh. Plus it will always be less!

So wish me luck! I started officially at 302 lbs on April 22 and now I am 298 lbs … 4 lbs in a week  … only 21 more to go to hit the goal! Don’t worry, I am not stopping there … but small goals turn into big successes.

Ultimate goals? Not certain, but I am thinking 225 would feel great! That would be 125 lbs. Heck I am already 40% of the way there.

As many of you know, I am not much of a book reader. I have gone through spurts of reading for school throughout the years and occasionaly I have read for pleasure. But for those most part, the zoombie that eats my brain is television.

People learn in many different ways. Visual learners come in two varities, those who read books and those who need visual aides – such as video. Auditory learners learn best through sound, like lectures and discussions. Kinesthetic learners are “hands on” people that discover the world around them through touch. Many schools cater to one or two styles but not all three.

I learn the best through auditory means. So my favorite mediums for learning are talk radio, podcasts, and listening to lectures. When in high school, college, and seminary I would rarely need to study if the content was discussed in class.  While I learn better with auditory stuff, I express myself better through writing. I favored writing papers over tests.

I do not like to read a lot. I do some reading, but only little chunks at a time. The Bible is good for my type of reading style. I have read popular novels and non-fiction, but I have started more books then I have finished. But recently, that has all changed. Since February 2009, I have read 8 books. 4 non-fiction books and 4 fiction books. I will provide a list of books I have read below – but I must explain how I am reading all these great books.

For the past few years, I have been subscribing to free podcasts. Podcasts are downloadable audio or video content that you can listen to or view on computers, iPods/iPhones, and many other devices. Video Podcasts (or Vidcasts) I watch through my TV. Most DVRs and PS3s will allow you to stream video content through a PlayOn. PlayOn is an application that is loaded on any Windows machine. If your PS3 or DVR is connected to your home network, then you can “see” the Windows machine through PlayOn and view online content. I watch some shows (technology, entertainment) and also online Netflix rentals through this method. Audio podcasts I listen to in my car through my iPhone and an audio cable. Many of the podcasts share an advertiser called Audible.com. Enter in my new book addiction.

So what it Audible.com? Remember Books on Tape? Well Audible.com is that same concept but for the new digital age. Now you can download whole books to our MP3 player (like the iPod or iPhone). Years ago, books recorded to tape or CD were abridged – which means you get a shorter version of the book. Most books now are the whole unabridged book. The average length is about 11 hours. Which if you commute 45 mins – 1 hour a day, you could read the book in 11 to 15 days. If you workout, you could listen during the workout. I listen to books and podcasts while I drive and while I code. Sometimes, I can knock out a book while I am in the zone at work.

Audible.com has two plans – Gold and Platinum. Gold is 1 credit a month for $14.95. Platinum is 2 credits a month for $22.95. I would say 95% of books are 1 credit. If you read all your books in a given month or you don’t want to spend your credit … you also can purchase books at 30% off. For instance, I am on the Platinum plan. If a book I want is less than $11.50 per month, I will likely not use my credit. Credits I reserve for the majority of books which usually are $20-$30.  So I love “reading” books now. I get all of the same content (probably more since I now finish the books), I get to keep the books forever, and I get to read many more books for personal growth and entertainment than before. If you love to read but don’t have time or you hate to read but love to listen to stuff … check out Audible.com.

My Recent Reads (most recent first):

Boundaries — Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend
Glorious Appearing (Left Behind Series Book 15) — Tim LaHaye and Jerry B. Jenkins
Armageddon (Left Behind Series Book 14) — Tim LaHaye and Jerry B. Jenkins
If You Want to Walk on Water, You’ve Got to Get Out of the Boat — John Ortberg
The Sacred Romance — Brent Curtis and John Eldredge
The Remnant (Left Behind Series Book 13) — Tim LaHaye and Jerry B.
Desecration (Left Behind Series Book 12) — Tim LaHaye and Jerry B. Jenkins
Integrity — Henry Cloud

The Left Behind Series I started many years ago but never finished. Thanks to Audible.com, I have now completed them!

If you’d like to see Kevin and Shantell on your television sets, you can for this week only! We will be appearing on Life Today with James Robinson. A few months ago, we found out former governor Mike Huckabee was going to be a guest on Life Today. We called up the studio and got tickets to be a part of the audience. The show, which is a half hour format Christian talk show, shows both of us in the studio audience. We are shown a couple of times, but the first panning of the audience which is about a minute into the show (after the opening credits and before the hosts announce themselves) is where we can best be found. If you have a DVR (or VCR if you’re in the stone age), record it this week and see us in living color.

Kevin has already graced the big screen as a blurry extra in the hit comedy “The Waterboy”. But now both Kevin and Shantell make their debut together on the small screen (and we are not even blurry). If for some reason your TV is broke or can’t figure out how to program the DVR, I have found a link to a web version of the TV show and put in on my site. The web version will give new meaning to “small screen”.

To find out when it is being broadcast in your area click here: http://www.lifetoday.org/site/PageServer?pagename=tel_stationGuide. If you do not get one of the national networks listed, click on “United States” on the top of that page and scroll down to find your local market. In both Dallas/Fort Worth and Orlando it is locally broadcast 6 times a day !

To watch the program on the web click here: http://www.benore.com/life-today-webcast/. You will see us right at the 1:00 to 1:01 mark. Enjoy!

Well I have decided to install a new blogging software on the site and the design has changed to a bit. This new software (WordPress) will allow me to change the design with ease, add cool features without coding them myself, and basically take the “work” out of blogging. So with luck, I (or maybe we) will be able to write more posts! And if you don’t like the design … don’t worry … it will probably get changed more often.